Just don’t wear desert cammo or he’ll never find you… 
Ah guess I’m on my own then.
I’ll spot beemers sneakers though as they will last 5 seconds out here.
They come in a variety of colors….
Blue bolt…
Walk away white…
Squiddy squishing black…
50 shades of sheep…
Take your pick…!!
Sand and sheep shit
See if Bunnings can mix that up for you
Sorry couldn’t help it.
Need steel caps out here. When them cheeky sheep stand on your toe you bloody know about it. Squish your big toe nail then it falls off. Then you wait for it to regrow and do it again.
Fk this, steel caps it is. Doubles up when they misbehave and try be an acrobat and wipe you out. See my size 9, your gettin it now.
So are they going to be going after blasters next? 
Wankers.
Can I break the like button, by smashing it too many times…??
Distilled truth…!!
Thought you’d like it. 
That is why I’ll never go there again. Know people there and it is shit.
Failure of leadership and to blame it on another state… come on now you are talking shit…
Fk that place
When you drop your sharpened broadsword out.
One quick clean one, for the neck. Watch the head roll…
Hmm now Telstra has gone down in Dubyay. Certain bush tucker man might not be available until the one technician they have sent out restores it.
Just go back to tins and string is more reliable. Pigeons maybe. Bottle in the ocean haha
Far out first it’s Sloptarse, then it’s Telstra. Privately owned companies owned from overseas. People have died and around 5k have been effected so far and some no longer with us. How the hell am I meant to conduct business. 
unreal
Had a funny one in the past, an Indian from overseas for Telstra rang me up with a new phone deal. He said we cover all of Australia. I said no you don’t. What do you mean. Have a look at your own website you idiot. That big black spot is where I live
Tried to argue with me until I made him open Telstras own home page and coverage map. 
Online selling…
I’ll never get over the absolute stupidity of some potential buyers.
Inquiry about the white strat from a Marketplace buyer…
“Is this still available?”
Ubiquitous and so fucking annoying… of course it is.
“How long have you had it and have you played it much?”
Totally irrelevant seeing as how it’s fully refurbished and refretted. It’s not a car, guitars don’t wear out when you play them… only the frets, and these are spanking new.
“How much did you pay for it when you bought it?”
Also totally irrelevant, rude to ask and none of your fucking business. If you wanted to sell something you were given for free would you feel.compelled to grossly undervalue it to assuage a misguided conscience?
“Will you drop your price because it’s older and not brand new?”
By that logic, I’d suggest you go and make a $50 offer on that $10K '59 Gibson Les Paul and see where that gets you.
“Can I plug it in and play it if I come have a look?*”
No, you wouldn’t ask to test drive a secondhand car now, would you?
Of course you can plug it in and play it, you muppet!
Swear to God, I hate selling anything on FB Marketplace. 
Come down on what, either you want it or not. Fk me. I bet I can play better than him and I’m pretty bad but can get some rythm going.
No worries, I’ll drop you and the price
Could be worse…
if they knew who you are, it would be…
" Does it come with an Uzi.?.?"
Yep…
I’ll throw in an UZI gel blaster for an additional $200
Gotta cover postage, afterall.
Funny though as I’ve tried to sell cars and stuff.
Oh is it used. What do think fuckhead why it’s 5 grand. How much rust. Well open your eyes and look at the photos
Like come on man
@BME your mate is getting Pfizer to make a new drug called Trumprx for cheaper health care
I had 4 shots of the shit and still got covid. Fucked me up for 3 bloody months.
Better off licking my boot It’s cheaper
US gov shuts down in a couple hours anyway as they can not agree on anything.
Won’t matter soon… 3I/Atlas isn’t far off
Better start soaking some gels so that when the severely water-allergic blue skinned aliens land to conquer us we’ve got plenty of ammunition.
Us much-maligned gelballers will be hailed as the saviours of the human race.
@BME Your arsenal of Pulse Rifles may come in handy afterall.
Wait until you see what I’ve got
Might be in the phase plasma 40watt range
So Donny Dump wants to start building naval ships like fhey were built in WWII because…
They look scarier… especially when they’re all in a straight line… and the new ships don’t look as good… and they start to melt if a missile gets within 2 miles of them.
Personally, I’m betting he watched “Battleship” the night before the speech next thing you know he’ll be wanting to build an army of Autobots commanded by Optimus Prime.
You couldn’t write this shit, seriously.