My wife actually went to a fancy dress party looking like this
Have a guess what my wife’s first name is.
I got shit more than she did for it
Go figure 
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I swear, that last ones just for me…!! 
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Aww…thanks, smurf…!!
Before you get dangerous fluid leaks, into the cockpit…
Deploy reverse thrust…!!
This isn’t a offensive black person meme…
Its a meme about a offensive black person…!!
I ASKED THE 13 YEAR OLD GRANDSON TO SPELL ORANGE
HE SAID “THE FRUIT OR THE COLOUR”
TOLD THE DAUGHTER TO CUT HER LOSSES ON THIS ONE .
,
NEVER GOING TO HAPPENED I AM BEING BURIED WITH ALL OF MINE
PLUS THE MISSES HAS ALREADY HAD A BOOB JOB
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A Queenslander’s having a beer in a Perth pub. As he’s drinking, his phone rings and after taking the call turns to the barman grinning his head off.
“Drinks on me!” he says “My wife just gave birth to a bouncing 25lb boy!”
Everyone in the bar crowds around him, congratulates him,slapping him on the back and expressing disbelief at his son’s birth weight.
“Yeah, big boy” he says “but 25lbs is about average for Queensland, we breed 'em big up there.”
Two weeks later the Queenslander walks into the same bar for a beer. The barman recognises him straight away.
“How’s that 25lb baby boy of yours going?” he asks “We’ve been having bets on how much he’d weigh now after two weeks. We were gonna call you… so what’s he weighin’ in at now?”
The proud dad replies “Aw, he’d be about 17lb now.”
Confused, the barman stares at the Queenslander in disbelief.
“Wait a minute, how can that be?” he asks, dumbfounded “He was 25lb two weeks ago… how can a baby lose 8lb in two weeks??”
The Queenslander takes a big mouthful of his XXX Gold.
“Well…” he replies “We had him circumcised.”
Boom tish! 
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