Always gonna find shit on the sole of your SCAR Ugg Boot 
This is for all the cat lover’s on here
(I am not one of them .the only thing I like about cats is that they make great motorcycle seat covers)
I got this site sent to me by my son (who is a cat lover)
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I do like cats… and dogs. My dogs like cats too, and not as chew toys either. 
The thing I like about cats is that THEY don’t give a rat’s arse whether you like them or not… 
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MY MISSES SAID TO ME THE OTHER DAY
“A WOMAN’S INTUITION IS NEVER WRONG”
I POINTED OUT THAT
THERE ARE WAY TO MANY SINGLE MOTHERS FOR THIS TO BE TRUE
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theres more flathead in the Clarence river then ive seen anywhere! Upstream from Iluka is great.
The Company Commander called for the First Sergeant.
When he arrives the C O says:
“Top, just got word that Private Schmedlap’s mother died. Please inform him.”
“Got it, Sir.”
So the Company is assembled for the noon accountability check. Per usual, he makes a few announcements then:
“Private Schmedlap?”
“Here First Sergeant.”
“Your mom just croaked.”
Schmedlap completely falls apart and passes out. An ambulance is called and Schmedlap spends almost a week in the hospital getting back his senses.
The C O is pissed.
“Damn it, Top. The Battalion Commander is on fire about this. I’m going to send you to Tact School. Maybe they can teach you to handle things like this a bit more thoughtfully.”
So, Top spends a week at Tact School. Time passes. Then, one morning . . .
“Top”, the C O says, “Just got word that Private Schmedlap’s father died. You need to inform him and I hope to hell you do a better job this time.”
“No sweat, Sir, I got this.”
So at the noon formation, Top makes a few announcements then: “Alright, listen up. I want everyone whose father is still living to take two steps forward. Not you Schmedlap.”
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The Centrelink Fairy.
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant
outside the Centrelink Offices. ‘My good man,’ the fairy said, ‘I’ve been told by albo to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in Australia with your wife and seven children – all costs to be covered by Australian Tax Payers.’
The man told the fairy: ‘Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.’
The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth. ‘What else?’ asked the fairy, ‘two more wishes to go!
The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder. ‘I need a big house with a three car garage on the Gold Coast with eight bedrooms and a Gold Visa Card in each room for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in the old country . I want to bring them all over here’
PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their shit music.
‘One more wish left for you’, said the fairy, waving her wand.
The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said “I want to be Australian with Australian clothes instead of the rags and shawl, and I want to have white skin like the Australians.’
PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out Stubbies shorts, a dirty Bonds T-shirt and a greasy terry-towel hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
‘What happened to my new teeth?’ he wailed. ‘Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?’
The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are Australian, you’re entitled to Sweet Fuck All, just like the rest of us”.
And she disappeared…
Pretty sure I came across this same Fairy!
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_________
________
AND ONE FOR THE KITTY CAT LOVER’S
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GOT ME A NEW MAUSER FOR MY COLLECTION
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I AM OF TO BELMONT RIFLE RANGE THIS MORNING.
SINGLE SHOT RULES APPLY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
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GET READY FOR THIS PEOPLE
THIS AND MORE WILL HAPPENED IF WE BECOME A CASHLESS SOCIETY
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I take those seriously 
