What UMP?
I can’t see any UMP here?
The much smaller Black G18C GLOCK in the side holster of the chest rig does stand out a bit more though!
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See, if you’d gone the whole nine yards you would have dyed your beard camo too. 
Umm I can see that 45ACP laser sighting Umpty Dumpty 
I got ADF cam paint, oh fuk I did it for a party already donning a Bere` 3 CAV Regiment. Present ARM. Worked a treat LOL
wow! what a collection!
FN Gen8 mate should pull 8seconds down the quarter mile sideaways. I’m not playing game day with you
Boom headshot LOL
SLR L1a1 was a good Lithgow copy did the job all right
Small Light Rifle until we got our hands on it turned it in to a bitch barking in Nam
Fabrieque Naationale` make very good service rifles 
There was a $1000 good copy of the slerr awhile back 
Should train with the French and thier FAMAS fkn jammed all the time then wtf did you say oh fkn sacraue blue they go hard. rifle grenades launch, don’t fk with them, there fire oh shit ok.
Rather be working on turning the Taccytoys M4 into something resembling a GWOT Specops M4 than cutting down a golden cane with one arm only partially healed
Hmm made a mess
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Maybe sart with a bigger house
Rock-hopping a breakwall wearing a heavy backpack full of tackle and balancing a graphite baitcaster in one hand at 63 is never a good idea…
Ouch.
Need high traction version of crocs 
Ironically, I kicked the crocs off for the excercise… it wasn’t a traction issue, trust me…
A large slab of granite rolled when I put all my weight onto it, then it was just a Youtube moment. I got lucky though… a sharp pointy rock’s given me a decent bruise just to the left of my spine.
A cuppla inches to the right or straight into the back of my melon and DocBob might have been ordering in the medivac chopper. 
That’s the worst part of “getting old”, where the cat like skills to bound and balance seem much more blunt these days when things do go tits up underfoot.
Good to see you got out of it with " 'tis merely a flesh wound".
When I bend to pick something up, I wonder what else I can pick up while I’m down there
It gets worse as you age. Seam to loose ability to use balls of feet to maintain balance. Then muscles atrophy and you end up with a permanent limp and have to use pick up stick where you used to bend down.
Look longingly at my Mk3 chest rig now game days are over and wonder why I have so many holsters and mag pouches
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I can relate, matey.
The whole lower part of my spine and SI joints are totally fused… I do not bend. Makes skirmishing a laugh. I’d end up like Daffy Duck getting pinged by Elmer Fudd in a shooting gallery.
And I get the whole balance loss with age thing too… I said to my missuss 30 years ago and I would have been all over these boulders like a mountain goat… now, I have to plan my route down. 
Mind you, 30 years ago I was 34.
Sounds like you need to find a good spot to camp with a sniper or LMG, I’ll be the decoy to draw out enemy players into your line of sight, I often find myself the team decoy in call of duty warzone
Cleaning up the house and yard preparing for a real estate inspection the week after my daughter is due to be born. Definitely shit timing so have to get all of this shit sorted before the birth and I take time off work because otherwise I won’t have time to get everything sorted before the inspection because it’s all on me to get everything sorted.
Pain in the ass n I’m in trouble for doing it and not being able to spend time with my kids the last few weekends, but that’s the joys of adulthood, working nightshift, and a partner n kids that don’t live with me. Sometimes sacrifices must be made to get shit done whether I like it or not.
Such is life
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