Give us your Best Jokes...!

Haha reminds me when batching it, house mate said I’m sick of Jesus’s bamboo shit that’s technically on our side dropping shit all over our cars.

Lets fix that at 3am on a Wednesday morning. What are we going to do with the mound of shit we just cut down. I know that dick across the road has been away for months, lets pile it all in his driveway. bahaha

Jesus dobbed us in to the council for the 40th time, all they did was come and clean up the pile of shit haha

We ended up rehearsing on the front veranda instead of our usual practice of setting up down at my massive old Limeworks factory shed for a couple of reasons.

Down the shed I would have to roll out a few old Indian Carpet Rugs to keep the gear off the dirty/dusty/oil stained concrete, drag out a few folding tables for the mixing board/electronics, set up a whole Drum Kit and heaps of other random stuff beforehand, then take a couple of hours afterwards/following day to pack it all away again.

Also, massive old Timber and Corrugated Iron Industrial Workshops DON’T have the best Accoustics in the world!

Even on days where I would practice my Bass on my own, there would be dust/cobwebs/spiders dropping from the vibrating roof timbers, and the Corrugated Iron would be reverberating so much that you could hardly decipher half the notes that you were playing! :joy:

Moving onto the Verandah up at the house, it had clean timber decking, insulated roof and plenty of seats/tables and lighting… but not enough room for a Drum Kit, so we got our Drummer Marty (“Animal”) a KORG Drum Synthesizer for Rehearsals instead!

To put it into perspective, Marty was 6’3", 230kg, covered in Tatts, had a tackle box full of crap all through his head and a “haircut” that was a mixture of a massive Mohawk on top combined with a Mullet that ended in some Bob Marley braids halfway down his back! :open_mouth:

He always wore ripped black denim jeans, DB’s and flannel shirts with the sleeves torn off at the shoulders.
And he didn’t really “play” drums, he beat the living shit outta them like they owed him money… hence the nickname “Animal”, where we always told him that he must have watched too many episodes of the Muppets when he was a kid! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Imagine giving him a Drum Synthesizer instead of his Drum Kit… needles to say that he WASN’T impressed, but he’s got a good sense of humour, so agreed and went on to jokingly call it his CASIO Keyboard! :rofl:

Anyrate, worked out much better for everyone, quicker to set up, belt out a few songs without all the reverberating and shit raining down on our heads/equipment, and much quicker to pack up and everyone able to get home for work the next morning. :ok_hand:

Ah you know the drill, man…

The quicker the load in, soundcheck, gigtime, load out, the more time for for post-gig beers. :joy:

Too true mate, which was the usual deal on weekends where we would set aside a whole day for rehearsals/discussions/planning including a BBQ lunch and a few Sherbets to help out with the “creativity”, often leading into a BBQ dinner and a long LOUD night down the shed, as nobody had to work the next day. :sunglasses:

Had many “lock-ins” after finishing gigs late at closing time where the patrons would all be kicked out except for the chosen few to hang back and have some fun. :+1:

Sounds like my drummer mate from Plan B, he’s 7 ft and how the fuck do you get 230KG’s he was around 90-100Kg’s depending and still is working the mines.

Moose beat the drums in nothing but a pair of shorts bare foot and out done everyone I’ve seen, DB, 3 kits put together to make his one. 50 sticks as he’d snap a shitload through his set. Quite impressive and still best mates today although he’s up NT mining making money for his wife and kid :+1:

I was pit crew, snapped a skin, or smashed the snare, hang on bolt the spare in. Funny as. Ate a few snapped sticks too and told him ya cunt go flying all over :rofl:

Unless you jammed with that famous heavy metal band I can not remember at the moment. LOL wonder why.

They Jugged and smoked on before they started practice, they were insane and very good and went high up. Can’t remember the name atm it will come to me one day. Doc would have heard of them.

You are right, 130kg, not 230!
Fat left thumb typing on the tiny screen has me spending more time editing mistakes and correcting “Autocorrect” than it does to actually type out a sentence. :face_exhaling: