Gues what I got for Chr big ass bottle of hone Jim Beam given that a knock tonight Im getting loose tonight like pitbull 
Jesus walks into a restaurant and says “Can we have a table for 26 please?” The waiter looks at the group and says “Errr… I only count 13…”.
Jesus says "Yeah, but were all gonna sit on the same side. "
Then at dinner Jesus has a little too much wine and starts waiving a breadstick around yelling “You wanna piece of me??”
After dinner Jesus gets the bill and freaks out, yelling “Who the fuck ordered all this wine??”
Cos he could turn water into… never mind.
I know it’s more of an Easter thing but boom-tish anyway!!
Don’t forget the egg nog 
Had to put my goggles on for that one
I know where I’d apply it to the RN… I’ll see myself out 
Wait until you see my tree, oh that’s right burnt it for my birthday.
Why are cyclones usually named after women?
Because when they come, they’re wet and wild…
And when they go they take your house, your car and everything you own.
Boom-tish!
Welp, time to skip meals again
I know, I bumped in to it, was like wtf, throw a bannana and change a gear on some contraption. Must admit got the sounds going good.
Showed a truckie mate of mine, he said mate that’s me everyday
